Social life in Provo... a never ending issue.

Today I had a long chat with my favorite professor, Dr. Seely.  We always talk about a wide variety of things, especially London, and today we got on the topic of how awful the social life of Provo is.  Look, I know Provo is a great, spiritual place, but you have to admit we are lacking socially.  Well I have some ideas to fix this issue.  They are expensive, and some may be mean, but I think these ideas could help Provo come a long way.  So here's my opinion about this crisis:

1. It's time to get a TRAIN.  Ok, I know this is no easy fix, but I've been hearing that the Trax are extending to Provo since my freshman year.  Why isn't it happening?  Recently, Provo decided to be more "green."  Because of this there aren't as many parking lots.  If you are going to make it difficult to travel into Provo by car then please provide another way to get in and out of this place!  We need the Trax in Provo.  Additionally, that would allow poor people like myself an outlet out of here.
2. Invest in some street lights.  If we want people to be "green" and ride their bikes/walk everywhere then we need the light to do it.  Also, with more light people will go out and be social at night!  Adding more street lights might also help with the rape issue Provo is experiencing recently.
3. Make non-freshman dorms.  Every other college has them.  I don't know who established that dorms are only for freshman at BYU.  It's annoying to me.  Most colleges have dorms for every college aged student and I think it helps the social life tremendously.
4. Bulldoze all the houses east of campus.  Ok, I know this is extreme, and will never happen, but we need to make BYU a COLLEGE TOWN!  Have you ever been to Penn State?  There are no houses within walking distance of campus.  There are places for students live, and then there are places to SHOP!  We need things to do close to campus.  If that is too extreme, then at least put something recreational west of campus.  We have a lot of unneeded fast food down there.  Let's lose a couple of those franchises and put in a bowling alley.  And please, don't make it a BYU bowling alley.  I'd like the liberty of listening to inappropriate songs while I bowl.  The bowling center in the Wilk is great, but it's too small... and people want to get away from campus on the weekends.  Let's put a dollar theater down there too.  The one in orem is small, and old, and we definitely need something bigger than the tiny theater on campus.
5. We need more bookstores!  Used, new, whatever... we need them.  And all of them should have a little cafe.  So we don't drink coffee?  We can still have a place that sells hot chocolate and pastries to enjoy while you read.  I love Barnes and Noble, but it's too far away for those who don't have a car.  Let's get a bookstore with lots of furniture where people can just sit and read for a bit.
6. Kick old people out.  Ok, I know this one is really mean, but here's the thing.  College kids, in my opinion, are entitled to have loud parties on the weekend.  If you're going to call the cops on a perfectly clean party just because there's loud music then you shouldn't live in a college town.  Move.  Or at least let us party until 1:30... that's the technical curfew.  Let us party until then.  It's the only fun thing to do around here.  Don't take it away, please.
7. Provo... please don't be afraid to build a new building close to an old one.  In the East buildings are literally on top of one another.  For some reason, people out west need everything spread out.  I don't get it.  Build close.  It makes things cozy and puts everything within walking distance.
8. It's time to make the Creamery on 9th bigger.  I know, I know... it's been there since the 50's and we want to keep the memories alive, but they can stay alive even when you add more space.  People love the creamery and a ton of people take dates there, or go there after games.  Make it bigger so more people can come, be comfortable, and enjoy some ice cream.  Don't be afraid of change.
9. Make the Cougar Eat bigger as well, and put in some fast food that kids actually want.  And maybe we should come up with a name other than "Cougar Eat."  Just an idea.
10. Keep stores open past 9.  'Nuff said.
11. Get a music venue closer to campus.  Hipster kids love that stuff.  The Slab just added a place for live bands to play and it's a thriving idea.  The next closest place is the Muse, but that's a car ride away.  There are tons of bands trying to blossom in Provo.  Let's give them a place to play that's relatively close.  Props to the Slab for starting this.  I think it's been a success thus far.

Anyway... those are just a few of my ideas.  I know I have more, but I can't think of them right now.  Ultimately, it's time for BYU to be a college town.  It needs to be exciting, alive, and full of stuff to do. Let's make Provo a place that people want to visit, a place where the social life is thriving.  I know change takes a long time, but let's start now so that college students in the next 50 years will have something exciting to do on the weekend.